Well hellooooo there!

First and foremost, if you are looking for weight loss tips - you've come to the wrong place. This blog is about one blimp's journey to find a skinny mini version of herself. So if you're ready to read a fat funny girl's refreshingly frank blubber-extraction experience and have a good laugh along the way (with me or at me), then this is for you. 

Strap yourself in, because it's about to get real up in here. 

I'm not going to be polite or sugar coat this process. I'm preparing myself for hell. In 2007, I reached a goal weight of 69kg (but who doesn't after a bitter break up?). However over the past four years and several hundred Tim Tam packets later, here I am at 98kg. Yep, there it is. In writing for the very first time. Fuck. 

To fill you in, here are 10 home truths about this all: 

1. I am 22. I should be partying it up in skimpy clothing with my cheeks hanging out, however as my waistline is the equivalent of Earth's circumference, this is not an option (and shouldn't be for any self-respecting girl, but I never said I was that). 
2. I love food. In all forms. I don't care what it is, if it is in front of me, consider it gone. 
3. I actually have ordered Maccas after a PT session. And had to drive there for it. 
4. When I run, I sound like I am choking on a doughnut (ironic, eh?). 
5. I am "that girl" that no one makes fat jokes about - because I am ACTUALLY FAT.
6. I know quite a lot about food and nutrition. More than average. However when it's 3am and I've just finished my 47th drink, it could be a marinated tyre and I'd still eat it. 
7. Exercise and I are not friends. When you can't do a Body Step class because you fear of being knocked out by your own tits or starting a fire with your thighs, you know there's something wrong.
8. I have been known to hide food. Now this isn't just the odd chocolate bar, but rather it was once three bags of fun sized chocolates... and three family blocks. They were gone in a week with only trace evidence left in the wardrobe and on my arse. 
9. I have a hot sister. This certainly is the worst when you can see people's minds try and process how she came out as glamorous as anything and I came out... like that. 
10. I fear my high school reunion. Many girls from my school simply continue to get hotter with time, I simply continue to get wider. Not cool. I'd like to at least fit through the bloody door when the time comes.

In light of the above, and the fact that I am slowly developing my own gravitational pull, it's time for this fatty to get fit! With 30kg to lose and a timeframe of 365 days, things are about to get interesting... Stay tuned for the 1 January 2011 kick off!